When we’re apart, I don’t always quite feel like myself; there are moments where I’m alone in my room and something feels…off. Foreign. Like there’s supposed to be some presence right beside me. And maybe it’s because I spent an entire year spoiled by your mere existence, inseparable save for the few hours a day where we had adult duties to attend to, maybe it’s our countless talks of finally building a life together, but the only time in which I truly feel like myself — where I truly feel like I’m at home — is when you’re by my side.
Right now, we have some pretty daunting circumstances that continue to keep us apart from each other, like magnets from the same pole. We’re lucky if we even get a full week together every so often, but, damn, if that week doesn’t feel like the absolute time of my life. The thing is, though, that we’ve never let a silly little thing like distance keep us from knowing that we’re meant to be. We’re endgame. You see, when I’m around you, I’m electric — I’m alive. Every press of your lips on mine sends a pulse of current running through my veins; it switches something in my brain that has me constantly desiring more, more, more until I finally get my fix. Even though you may not realize it, I see the way you look at me sometimes, and it sends that same shock flying through my system. I don’t know if you see the way I look at you, but I hope it makes you feel just as vibrant. I can only hope that I have the same effect on you as you do on me; it’s the same passion and desire that has remained a constant for the past four and a half years and each kiss convinces me that it’s likely to never fade.
I know that for some people, home is just four walls and bed to return to at night. While that’s all fine and good, for me, it’s about finding that stable foundation with a person that I’ve never had. It’s walking into the doors that are your arms and instantly feeling secure. It’s turning on the lights in your eyes and knowing that you’re brightening up the room. It’s parting your lips like sheets and having a wave of comfort rush over me. It doesn’t matter where we are — your place or my place or, eventually, our place — but ultimately, I know that as long as I have you to return to, I’ll always have a home.